Talking to Myself • Nov. 2025
Sara Goldstein Studio
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Talking to Myself
Do you talk to yourself? I know I do. Have you ever considered how you talk to yourself? What is the tone of the messages you send to yourself? Do you berate yourself just for dropping your keys on the way out the door? Do you rush to get things done and mutter self-criticism under your breath?
When we take time to sense ourselves and to notice how we are engaging with ourselves, we might realize that we have choices to make in the tone of our self-talk. Too much social media? Impatient sitting in traffic? Discouraged with how we performed on a task? These are unavoidable occurrences. What options do we have to regulate our reactions and judgments of ourselves in the face of daily challenges?
I would like to share some ideas from the annual Alexander Technique International conference that I recently attended. It was a delight to be among 50 or so Alexander Technique teachers from around the United States, Canada, Europe and Asia. I am mulling over two workshops in particular that touched on a similar idea: How we talk to ourselves can have an impact on our nervous systems for better or for worse.
MESSAGES
In Imogen Ragone’s workshop on Trauma and the Regulation of the Nervous System we explored self-talk and how it can impact our nervous system. Negative self-talk, such as, “I have to do it well, I have to do it fast,” can increase heart rate and cause muscle tension. Try it! Say this phrase to yourself a few times as you walk about. Simply imagining a negative experience can affect our autonomic nervous system! Our brain’s survival mechanisms are pre-verbal. They are instinctive. This part of our brain is responsible for our survival; our fight or flight reactions that arise whether a threat is real or imagined.
Fortunately, our pre-frontal cortex, responsible for decision-making, self-awareness and self-observation, can allow us to choose thinking processes that are beneficial to ourselves. With practice, we can alter our behaviors.
We can practice speaking kindly to ourselves. Try saying/thinking to yourself, “I am at ease in myself. I have everything that I need.” Say it a few times as you walk about. This was a phrase used by Jana Tift, Alexander Technique teacher and author with Meade Andrews of the book, “Your Body Knows.” In her workshop, Jana explored self-talk that is common to performers such as actors, dancers and musicians. Taking a moment to notice and choose the message you wish to tell yourself can transform a performance or any life event.
TAKING TIME
The greatest caring gift to ourselves is time. To allow moments of introspection and to invite outside awareness and to acknowledge support are habits that we can develop. Take a moment now to notice something in your current environment that brings you pleasure. It could be a color, a tree, or just the sense of support that you receive from the ground under your feet. That small act of noticing, repeated often, can support healing from stress and enhance caring for yourself. Make it a habit!
NEW PATHWAYS
As we change our ways of thinking and being, we refresh and restructure the neuro pathways in our brains. Neuroplasticity is the characteristic of our brains to change at any time in our lives. How we do things over time creates the habits that are instilled in our brain pathways. By pausing and making choices outside our habits, again, and again, will lead to neural changes and new ways of being. This quote sums it up very nicely:
“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a
single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a
deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep
mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts
we wish to dominate our lives.”
- Wilferd Arlan Peterson
The Art of Living, Day by Day: Three Hundred and Sixty-five Thoughts, Ideas, Ideals, Experiences, Adventures, Inspirations, to Enrich Your Life
With thanks to Imogene Ragone for sharing this quote.
You are doing a great job! Give yourself a compliment.
ABOUT THE ALEXANDER TECHINQUE
The Alexander Technique helps us to function in harmony with our natural design and with greater efficiency and ease. Alexander lessons are recognized as a valuable resource to people of all ages, including performing artists, athletes, anyone with chronic or incidental pain or just wishing to improve wellbeing.
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